Bugs in the house? Not on MY watch...
Yesterday afternoon was bright and sunny here. A welcome change from grey winter days. So, I snuggled Grace on the pillows of our bed under the skylights and began to fold some laundry (because that is what a baby brings with it...unlimited laundry). Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something move.
It was a yellow jacket. In the house. On the window.
(This picture is why digital cameras have zoom lenses. So you can stand far, FAR away and take a picture.)
I froze. My overwhelming fear of yellow jackets goes back to the fifth grade when my friend Vicky and I ran right over a yellowjackets' nest during a neighborhood block party. The swarm that followed cleared out a crowd of approximately fifty parents and kids, plus their pets. Parents were ripping our clothing off to get the bees out and everyone got stung more than once. Especially Vicky's poor little dachshund who couldn't run very fast. Since then, I have been more terrified of yellowj ackets than I am of thousand leggers. And, as Aaron will tell you, thousand leggers make me jump up on tables. I can wield a mean power tool, I can confront suspicious tow truck drivers in my pajamas on the city streets at night, but some bugs really freak me out.
Then, the baby sneezed. OMG, the baby! There is a yellow jacket IN THE HOUSE! And we have a BABY!
Suddenly, my fear was replaced by a hormonal ferocity that would have made a WWF wrestler dive under a couch. I spun around, grabbed Grace and whisked her to the other side of the room. The words that came out of my mouth as I set her down were (I kid you not), "Here's your binky, Sweetie. Stay right here. Mama's gotta go kill something."
Picking up my latest copy of Real Simple magazine, I pounded that bug right into the sill. It never had a chance. And, hey. New uses for Real Simple that I'm sure the editors never considered. Wanna kill more bugs? It's Real Simple.
Then I noticed the other yellowjackets. Two more trapped between the wood window and the storm window outside looking for a way to get in. Oh no. Last spring, when I weatherized the upstairs windows, I found old yellowjackets' nests in the yawning gap between the stucco and the framing of the window when I pried off the trim inside of the bedroom. (When the trim came off, you could actually see through the gap to the great outdoors.) I thought I had cleaned those all out BEFORE I insulated and closed everything up!!! Obviously, I missed a few.
I grabbed a roll of insulating tape (yes, I just have this stuff lying around) and taped up everything around the window. I didn't know how the first one got in, but those two were just going to have to live between the window and the storm window.
And they are still there. And I am waiting for them to die. Cruel, but, hey. Life is cruel when ridiculous amounts of maternal hormones are involved. Note to any other bugs who might find the House In Progress an interesting place to visit? I am armed with a copy of Real Simple and I won't hestitate to use it. Word.
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Comments
LOL!!! Reading this post completely lightened my day. But I do know what you mean, I hate all manners of stinging insects. Yellow Jackets, wasps, hornets, honey bees, normal bees. If it has a stinger, it needs to die.
Posted by: Bromius | April 6, 2006 10:39 AM
This made me laugh out loud-
"New uses for Real Simple that I'm sure the editors never considered. Wanna kill more bugs? It's Real Simple."
I hate, hate, hate bugs too. I usually try to get the dogs to eat/kill them for me. And we don't just have the thousand leggers, we've got the full blown centipedes which apparently will sting if provoked. However, since we had the entire basement treated for the powder post beetles, I haven't seen a single bug. I hate poison, but sometimes it's worth it!
Keep slaying those bugs!
Posted by: amanda | April 6, 2006 1:06 PM
I can't think of any good reason to let yellow jackets live. Big fuzzy bumblebees that live in the seams between concrete squares in our driveway and visit our roses and rhododendrons? I leave those alone--they mind their own business. But yellow jackets are nasty, nasty creatures. Once we were eating lunch outside, and Dr. Tully Monster noticed one settled on the edge of his ham and cheese sandwich. We watched in horrified amazement as it sawed off a chunk of ham the size of a pencil eraser and flew away.
Oh, and don't forget the cicada killers. The joys of living in old buildings in Chicago...
Posted by: tully monster | April 6, 2006 1:36 PM
The bad news? Your trapped yellowjackets
will take weeks to die.
I kid you not, I slapped one last fall on
on our porch with an Old House Journal.
Personally, about the only good use for
realsimple I can think of is squashing
bugs, but I digress. Umm...oh yes:
In the yellowjacket smacking I severed
the critters head. It then fell into an innacessible spot such that I
could not deliver the coup de grace.
(I believe in mercy even for yellowjackets).
It continued to live--without its head--
and try to sting everything in its orbit
for
one
week.
Posted by: jay | April 7, 2006 6:21 AM