Comparing house-related boo boo's

Category: Daily Diary

In solidarity with Jocelyn from Chicago Two-Flat, I am posting the most recent pictures of my house-related boo boo's.  Though I have to say that  a) hers is more ouchy than mine and I hate getting stung by anything, and b) mine are accompanied by a lame story about how I sustained my injuries.  Jocelyn's boo boo is to be admired because she EARNED HERS through working hard weeding her lovely garden.  Mine?  I got mine because I am a spastic dope.  (This is a photo of my right elbow.)

booboo1.jpg

Also...both knees look like this.

booboo2.jpg

Mine is only house-related insomuch as it came about because work was being done TO our house...and I wasn't doing it.  Instead, I was enjoying the non-fume-filled air and high life over at my in-law's comfortable bungalow with Grace in tow.   YET!  My old enemies found me there.

Late at night, I was laying in the hallway at the top of their circular staircase when I couldn't sleep so I could read without waking Aaron or the baby.  I was flat on my stomach on the carpet, engrossed in a Studs Terkel book.  The door to the baby's room was directly in front of me and I was at peace, very cozy, small dish of ice cream.  Newly showered.  Life was good.

bugambush1.JPG

It is important that I diagram this for you so that you can understand what happened.  Plus, I am a geek that way.

Anyway, I'm laying on the carpet, all into Stud's prose, when out from under the baby's bedroom door, across the carpet, towards my face and under my book runs this big, black spider.

bugambushspider.JPG

You'd have been proud of me.  I flicked the book closed with my hand, grabbed my shoe off of my foot, and squashed that thing flat.  BOOM!  No contest.  Back to reading.  It is important to note that, before the HouseInProgress, I could not willingly be within ten feet of any spider.  Ever.  I even calculated the speed a spider could run IF it was the size of a person because...well, I am a geek that way.

So, I'm back to reading Studs, when I look up and I see this heading towards me on the carpet from under the baby's bedroom door.

housecentipedeface.jpg

(photo courtesy of BugGuide.net)

That was when I screamed and threw myself up in the air so quickly that I slammed my elbow (and funny bone) into the metal railing as well as getting carpet burns on both knees.

I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

thousand leggers.

It ran right at my face just like the spider did, but faster because...duh...more legs.

bugambush1000.JPG

Then it veered off towards the wall while I was peeling myself off of the ceiling.  I had almost hightailed it back into the room where Aaron was staying when I thought, "WAIT!  What if it goes BACK into the baby's room?"

So, I took off my shoe and chased that sucker down like a proper mama bear should.  Ground it right into the carpet.  With my left hand, though, because my right arm was dangling uselessly from the elbow.

Then I ate my ice cream like the cold-hearted thousand legger killer I have become.

Home improvement is making me mean and scarred, isn't it? 


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Comments

Love the diagrams! read, scroll, read, chuckle, scroll, AAAAHHHH!

I was reading this story about a bug race that insects have in Chicago. There was this race between a spider and a centipied to see who could steal the most ice cream from a lady who was lying on a floor. The spider was winning when BAM! it was squished with a shoe. The centipied came out to see what the noise was about when this lady started wailing voodoo magic at it which apperaed to include some blood ritual and flailing an arm against a metal rail. She chased it for a bit and WHOP! Smacked it with her hand killing it on the spot. It really was a tragedy. The funeral is tomorrow. Ice cream would be an appropriate donation.

Glad I'm not the only one with boo boos lately. I did feel pretty silly coming into work 2 Mondays in a row with a bee sting. But of course I had to tell everyone and show them my popeye arm.

Maybe we'll start a new trend in Houseblog posts. The "boo-boo".

What was funny for me after I got stung was when we went to Gethsemane the next day, I kept seeing bees in all the plants I was picking up. Traumatized I guess.

Your diagrams and description above are hilarious and you made me feel better too :)

ahhh the thousand leggers. Why can't they stay outside where they belong? I have the tormenting ones that show up, and then promptly run zig zag under bookshelves or some other impossible to reach place. Too short of an appearance to erradicate. I hate knowing it survived to make yet another untimely appearance. The worse actually was the 4 incher that was on the ceiling and trying to squish it overhead without parts falling in my face.
I enjoyed your story of terror in the night...

The new version of houseblogs.net we're about to launch will allow for tagging of entries so people can find similar ones.

We'll have to make sure people adopt the 'booboo' tag. :-)

lol. cute and funny diagrams. i was too scared to get close enough to a HUGE spider in the garage today to stomp or swat it with something. so i trekked into the house to find something lethal to spray it with, spray adhesive did the trick. it was a slow end for it but at least i didn't have to get near it.

Okay, I can only say this safely because I am your sister, but you are such a geek. But I am impressed that you did no further damage to yourself. Mark will happily tell you about the time that I was chased by a killer housefly and ended up doing a backflip over a blanket chest and slamming into a dresser. (It was a really big fly.) I guess that makes me a geek, too. But I could, of course share the anecdote of how he was attacked by a DEAD bee (Yes- it was already dead) hanging in a spiderweb, which caused him to trip down the hill and cut his shoulder open on our neighbor's fence. Did I mention that the bee was already dead?

 

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