sat on her tuffet. Except, it wasn't a tuffet. And this thing was in my bathtub. And, at 6:30 am, Miss Muffet screamed, "AARON!!!! AUGH!!! HELP!!!" I won't need any coffee for the rest of the day.

What kind of monster spider IS THIS??!!
And why does it want to live in my bathtub?
 
Cabinet Refacing:
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Comments
That looks like a grass spider...although I'm not too sure if they're common around your part of the country. Anyway, if it is a grass spider, they're pretty harmless. Creepy, though!!!
Posted by: Chris | August 24, 2007 2:14 PM
It definitely looks like a Funnel Web Grass Spider...good call. I thought, "Whew. Harmless." And then I saw this site about Funnel Web Grass spider bites. Holy crow! Um, AUGHHHHHH!
http://www.termite.com/spider-bite-first-aid.html
Unlike snake bites, the person feels great pain at the site of the bite. Nausea and abdominal pain follow. The person will also experience difficulty in breathing and a general weakness or numbness of the muscles. Profuse sweating is usually obvious, along with excessive saliva production. Heavy coughing is also common. Virtually all major hospitals in "Funnel-web Country" carry an effective anti-venom. Provided a pressure/immobilisation method has been applied soon after the bite and medical attention sought quickly, a few days in the hospital is the usual outcome with complete recovery.
Posted by: jm | August 24, 2007 3:59 PM
It's a wolf spider methinks.
Posted by: Terry | August 24, 2007 6:28 PM
Yikes! That thing is hideous! I'd be so tense to get into the tub after seeing that!
Posted by: mom2amara | August 25, 2007 10:11 PM
Looks like a funnel grass spider -- low toxicity to humans.... non-aggressive...
Posted by: Sandy | August 27, 2007 7:36 AM
Due to my family's concern that every spider is a Brown Recluse, I found this site and love it:
http://www.spiderzrule.com/spiderphotos.htm
Hope it helps in the ID.
Posted by: Tiny Oak Park Bungalow | August 27, 2007 12:45 PM