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Me = 1, Dishwasher = 0

I hate our dishwasher.

We're currently stuck with it because we only have a teeny, tiny space to cram it into in the current kitchen. Which means that we can wash, oh, maybe five dishes at a time. It's one of those tiny apartment models so we do not want to get a replacement because we hope to someday have a big kid dishwasher like the other big kids. Or have a child who LOVES to wash dishes without breaking them.

(Hey Grace! Remember when we washed the dollhouse furniture? Dishes are WAY MORE FUN! Seriously. Especially pots and pans. Love, Mommy)

I also LOVE our dishwasher because it is such a novelty to me. After all, anyone who has rented an apartment in an urban area knows that dishwashers can be rare. And for my first ten years in Chicago, my two hands, a kitchen sink and (after large dinner parties) a bathtub functioned as my dishwasher. So, ANY dishwasher is a luxury.

But I still hate this one. Mostly because it has a habit of breaking down at the most inconvenient times, like, oh, at 3 am when I'm holding a crying newborn and have a countertop full of coffee cups and baby bottles.

This week, I turned it on and it began making these alarming "THUNKA THUNKA" noises. And then, it began to smoke.

I panicked because I did not want to spend money on that thing. Period.

I perused one of my favorite appliance websites, RepairClinic.com. I studied the diagram of how an average dishwasher is put together. It looked somewhat straightforward. Motor spins a washer arm which sprays water. Then it sucks the water back up. Done. Okay. I decided to go in.

Because water + electricity = unfortunate home perm, I turned off the circuit breaker that supplies power to the dishwasher. Then I grabbed my trusty socket wrench set and peered inside.

Taking apart something that you know nothing about is always daunting. The entire time I have to psych myself up to do it. Then I may draw little pictures of what I am doing so I can reverse my steps when putting it back together. After the initial few screws or bolts, I get a thrill really. I mean, this is woman versus machine here. The machine is just sitting there. But I'm armed with tools and opposable thumbs. Woot! Go me!!! Beat that machine!

Four bolts and a socket wrench later, the sprayer arm was out of the dishwasher and I was examining it. I could hear something rattling around inside of it, which didn't seem right. So I did what any professional repair person would have gotten paid $100 an hour to do.

I shook the sprayer arm and its attachment violently while holding it upside down until a few pieces of glass fell out. (And a seed from an acorn squash.) Then I handed it to Aaron who also shook it. And another piece of glass fell out.

We assumed the glass was from an unfortunate vase accident that happened on the kitchen counter a few nights prior. We didn't catch all of the tiny pieces that fell into the open dishwasher. Hmm.

I stared into the abyss of the dishwasher which still had water in it. And possibly more glass. So, thinking like a professional repair person, I fired up my $100 a hour problem-solving skills and fetched the wet dry vac.

Which sucked up all of the water in .5 seconds. And also sucked a plastic straw out of the little spinning thing in the bottom of the dishwasher. Huh. How'd that get in there?

Well, whether it was glass or the straw, there were no more visible obstructions. So, I put everything back together with the socket wrench (4 bolts!), reset the circuit breaker and turned the machine back on.

And....it worked perfectly.

I am an appliance warrior! I am an appliance ninja! Take that, appliance! I rule!

I gave my husband a bill for $100, whipped off my headlamp and went to collect my Super Nerd award. Because I'd earned it.

Posted by jeanne on December 22, 2007 at 12:16 PM

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